(Originally published: October 25, 2010)
I was staring at myself in the bathroom mirror at work and suddenly realized that Giselle Bundchen and I have A LOT in common.
Below are some of the most prominent and obvious similarities
#1. She is a Supermodel. I am (occasionally rarely) a Plus-Size Model.
#2. She is married to an NFL quarterback. I once made out with an unnamed NFL quarterback.
#3. She is from Brazil. I went to Brazil one time and stepped on a Red Ant Hill
#4. After I stepped on the Brazilian Ant Hill I went to wash off my bare foot and stepped in dog feces. Gisele has dogs.
#5. She models for Victoria’s Secret. I like to order clothes from Victoria’s secret because they run big and make me feel thinner.
#6. She models for Christian Dior. I model for Indian Taxi-Bicycles.
#7. She likes Louis Vuitton bags. My friend Kayley has a Louis Vuitton bag and I'm pretty sure my mom has an LV wallet insert.
#8. She has a baby named Ben. When I was in 5th grade I watched Ben Affleck in "The Voyage of the Mimi".
Ok, cool. I think I covered all the bases.